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How not to handle a crisis, Jurassic style

07/10/2015

Twenty years ago in Jurassic Park, Spielberg showed us exactly how bad things can get when a giant, carnivorous dinosaur escapes its pen. Isn’t it astounding then that exactly the same thing happens in Jurassic World?

It seems that the new park owners haven’t exactly been busy creating a 'Dino crisis response' structure in that lab of theirs.

Where exactly is the crisis management team?

Unless I fell asleep half way through the film – and I have it on good authority that I didn’t – I did not see any semblance of such a team. I did see a woman who thought that ripping open her top was the defining characteristic of ‘getting ready’ - spoiler, it’s not.

Between the Operations Manager, Claire, the park owner and the random military man (I’m still not sure who he was, where he came from, or if the owner even knew this man was in his park) who exactly is in charge? By the end of the film, apparently it’s the delightfully “badass” rogue raptor trainer.

Here’s a thought, Jurassic World, maybe get a team together? Assign an actual leader? But, who knows, maybe they’d just already been eaten.

Has anyone heard of ‘evacuation protocol’?

During a crisis, the top priority should always be people. Fairly obvious right? Not in Hollywood it seems. The logic for not evacuating 20, 000 visitors (not to mention all the staff) is questionable at best: “If we evacuate, we will never reopen.” Potentially, but I’m much more certain that if anybody dies at the claws of the dinosaurs – and they do – that the park will definitely never reopen.

Of course, this decision is a social commentary on the evils of capitalism, but that’s not the focus of this post. At the end of the day, all of the lives on that island were risked because of a lack of any foresight into the real consequences of not putting people’s safety first.

People should always be the top priority – and not just the two rogue teenagers you’re related to. Yes, we’re looking at you Claire.

Was anyone preparing at all?

The wonderfully named “Indominous Rex” was cooked up in a lab. There is not one inch of its make-up that the park’s scientists wouldn’t know. So, why so many surprises? Surely someone would have thought it a good idea to write down all of the traits the new dino-attraction would have, for instance, the fact that it can effectively DISAPPEAR with its camouflage ability. Or have risk assessments become extinct now as well?

As with all blockbusters the film ends on a predictably cheesy closing line, as Claire asks Owen, “What do we do now?”

Er…prison? Consult a lawyer? Either way, I hope Claire finally takes those heels off. Her feet must be killing her. 

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